Friday, September 15, 2017

Just a couple of guys swappin' fluids


This wigger showed up randomly in a chatroom and decided to share his thrilling concert experience after lurking a while.  The screenshot is unedited--there were extremely long pauses between each line while he recounted the bizarre mating ritual, but no one responded or talked to him.  That last line makes it seem like trolling, but I'd prefer to think he was either annoyed or just autistically oversharing as a last ditch attempt for attention.

Was surprised to hear Ringworm mentioned in this context, as I was only familiar with a bit of their pre-reformation stuff--perhaps somewhat metallic, but still definitely HC; I was very confused why this idiot would mention them.   So I did some quick YouTube intel, which cleared things up:

  • Chris Ringworm is long gone
  • They were previously on Victory Records and are currently on Relapse
  • They are fond of making videos in empty warehouses
  • Said videos seem to indicate they want to be Pantera badly

Especially after #2 and #4, it all makes sense now.  Just a couple of fun loving guys letting loose and enjoying themselves at a gig.  You know--making eye contact, spitting on each other, and emptying their bladders together.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Commercial Metal, Vol. 10









This compiles some of the other ads with an additional concert commercial.

As a bonus, some old Sin After Sin print ads...



...and, appropriately, a fantastic ad for Stained Class.


Monday, November 14, 2016

Weird Tales of Metal - child geniuses like Rigor Mortis

The Rigor Mortis logo in the intro of Doogie Howser, M.D. is well-documented:

 
 
But do you remember this?
 
 
 


Maybe Capitol was reaching for the oft-forgotten child prodigy demographic, but associating a legitimately good thrash metal band with nerds doesn't strike me as a brilliant marketing decision.

Monday, July 4, 2016

An ABSURD mistake



I just got the Absurd Discography '91 - '92 CD, and when listening to the live '92 tracks, I noticed
that the live versions of "Storm of Malevolence" and "Drained of Body Chemicals" (which are both introduced by name) were swapped compared to the tracklisting on the CD itself and the original EP.

Sure enough, listening to track #1 carefully reveals "drained of body chemicals" is right in the chorus!  So apparently all along the first shorter track has actually been "Drained of Body Chemicals," and "Storm of Malevolence" is the second.  I poked around a bit online but could find nothing at all mentioning an out-of-order tracklisting (which struck me as kind of weird given all the dödsmetall reissue mania and Sunlight guitar tone worship). 

Both versions of the original demo tape also list "Storm of Malevolence" first, so I don't know if this mix-up originated with the original tapes or with Seraphic Decay when the EPs were pressed.  I welcome comments from anyone with further info.


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Weird Tales of Metal - Hirax cameo on "Mama's Family"

In the 1988 Mama's Family episode "Many Unhappy Returns," Bubba receives a record by "Spilled Brains."  Keen-eyed metal aficianados will recognize the front as being a modified Hirax Raging Violence cover (the back of the prop appears to be the cover to some other record I don't recognize).



Based on the use of the prop LP, it's most likely someone looked through records randomly, trying to find artwork that was both weird yet content-appropriate for a syndicated sitcom.

If you care, the episode can be seen here (prop in question first appears at 11:10).

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Commercial Metal, Vol. 9







Even back in the 70s, female heavy music "fans" came off as airheads.




"Greatest metal band of all time" made me snicker.  Don't worry, the post with ads from the bonafide greatest metal band of all time is coming soon...