Torn Flesh - Crux of the Mosh

I've long been curious about this album, since ages ago I read it was purported to be an example of Christian crossover thrash, and really, who wouldn't be interested in an evangelical version of D.R.I. or Cryptic Slaughter? Plus, every picture of the band made them look like gang member extras from the set of Death Wish III (I'm really hoping the one fellow fully committed to an actual nose-to-ear piercing chain like Jane Child or the Skid Row guy, but I suspect it's a clip-on).

Sadly, aside from "Kill the Dead," closer "The Ultimate Finale," and a few other spots here and there, nothing really maintains crossover energy or velocity consistently--they're clearly quite a punkish band, but it comes off more like a thrash band that listened to too much Fear. Despite not being all that fast or vicious or even possessing exceptional metal songwriting skills, just as punky thrash, there's a somewhat pleasant genericness to the music. But then there's the issue of the vocals, one of the strangest stylistic choices I've heard in metal. They're done in a very affected gruff voice which sounds like a cross between a Trey Parker character (I hear mostly Mr. Garrison) and a toned down, less macho version of the vocals on Dead Serios' "Who's Your Buddy?" album. The vocalist typically tries to cram as many words into as compact of a space as possible, often sounding like an irate middle aged man rambling incoherently over the music. Even when he's not as motormouthed, the vocals are belted out with little regard to how their timing or cadence fits the music. Unique, yes, but it makes it hard to listen to this conventionally and not just as a quirky novelty spin.

Not going to dwell on the lyrics too much--I appreciate the straightforwardness despite it being Christian stuff and there being some dorky examples of metaphorical lyrics.  Fundamentally it's not more preachy than some Sacred Reich or Nuclear Assault songs. Besides, if you're on this blog, you should be wearing your adult pants (unless you happened to be perusing the Lee Aaron post, in which case they might be off). The opening verse to "Innocent Eyes" is pretty hilarious though (lyrics include "Happy baby is being spoon-fed/Patted on the back and placed into bed"), especially since the underlying music sounds like something off of Anal Cunt's Picnic of Love. Oddly, they chose to put "(Time to mosh)" in the lyrics sheet at the end of a song dealing (rather mildly) with child exploitation (in the actual song, it's a rather un-rageworthy instrumental reprise).

From what I understand the band was formed by youth ministry members as a reaction against secular music, which isn't a big surprise. Compared to the other Christian crossover albums released in 1989, this is less aggressive and feels more contrived than The Lead (to be fair, the opening riff to "Kill the Dead" is by itself better than anything The Lead ever did) or The Crucified. Doesn't seem like those odd vocals did much good for them, although would things have been much different had they been swapped out? Who knows...just another weird tale of metal.

Bestial Lust (random metal musings)

 

I can't wait for my sweet AliExpress t-shirt.

Recently found a copy of The Return...... for $2. It's a particularly cheap-looking later CD version with uncrisp layout graphics, although I was happy that it had the original LP cover on the back, since my older disc only has a plain tracklist. I don't dislike it, but it's certainly my least favorite out of the first 3 Bathory albums, and even out of the first 5 depending on whether I'm in a Blood Fire Death mood or not.

A few vintage magazine reviews (mostly UK reviews, one of which I'm almost certain was from Metal Forces) referred to this as death metal. Certainly some of this had to do with the unfamiliar waters and nebulous boundaries of the embryonic extreme metal scene, so new as to lack much codification.  But since the album is very bestial and even brutal in its approach, I wonder if it partially had to do with trying to describe them in a way that somewhat differentiated them from Venom (ironically, I think "Bestial Lust" is one of the purest examples of Venom worship ever done--if the English in the lyrics was cleaned up a bit and it had the Black Metal production, it would be a Venom track).

I'm far from the first to suggest the idea, but I don't really see The Return...... mentioned much as a foundational influence for all of the bestial black/death and war metal stuff.  I remember immediately thinking of aspects of the album's aura and production choices when I heard Bestial Warlust and Blasphemy for the first time, and even some in the Conqueror demo too.  At the same time, I also hear production aspects and the relentless approach as an influence in a lot of the faster blastbeat ridden Scandinavian styled black metal (think all the Panzer Division Marduk and Pure Holocaust type stuff), only taken to an unfortunately monotonous extreme (also makes me wonder how much of an influence the second Bathory was on Von's Satanic Blood, since there's a certain trance-like monotony to the simplistic, compact songs, although there it's a positive aspect).  

Coincidentally, one of my pet peeves with the album is the weak rerecording of "The Return of the Darkness and Evil."  Yes, it has a faster tempo and more "brutal" approach, yet it lacks all the wonderful charismatic touches of the original like the drum intro and the ultra evil reverb drenched vocals.  Applied on a much larger scale, these are the same reasons why a lot of the extreme metal scene kind of disinterested me after the late '80s and early '90s--like that new version of "The Return of the Darkness and Evil," it seemed more sterile.  And less metal.

Females are Clueless About Metal, Vol. 4.

Maybe it's unwelcoming because you're kind of a dum dum?

It seems like the, uh, research for this article was done by playing a game of telephone.  Why not just copy/paste from the Wikipedia article on Mayhem?

Also, if anyone is aware of any NSBM bands who actually wore SS uniforms and the like, please let me know so I can check them out!  I'm only aware of bands either following fairly standard BM aesthetic tropes, or looking like football hooligans.

Thankfully, her "music" and "journalism" endeavors seem to have ended a while ago.

Archive of original article here:

I will add I have no particularly strong opinions about Pink Mass.  I remember before actually hearing them, they were often presented as some sort of war metal parody band, but in reality they primarily seem to be middling grindcore.  Just throw on some Naked Whipper instead (or for superior aesthetics coupled with better music, Tsatthoggua or Shitfucker).

After the Fall from Grace

I've been aware of Savage Grace's reactivation, and while I don't really have any particular expectations, I do think it has the potential to be more interesting than the 2010 gigs considering Chris Logue will be on guitar again.  I was web surfing earlier and what I was unfortunately not aware of is that THE SAVAGE GRACE WEBSITE IS FUCKING INSANE.

As a huge Savage Grace fan (well, at least of their '80s stuff*), I don't mean that in a smarmy SJW-esque way either.  Despite me being terribly late on this, as soon as I saw some of the crazy shit on there, I knew I had to make a blog post.  

Eh, as much as I love Master of Disguise--it's almost (but not quite**) neck and neck with Skeptics Apocalypse as my favorite US speed metal album--this is some terribly overzealous embellishment at best.  I subscribe to what I think is a pretty standard view: Priest, Accept, and Anvil having early examples of individual speed metal tracks, and the Exciter debut being the first overall speed metal album.  As for the US?  Never really thought about it too much.  I consider The Dominatress and the early SG stuff to be far more USPM than speed metal anyway.  Perhaps the '82 Exodus demo, or the Abattoir or Sceptre demo stuff?

Then there's the book:

This is a bit confusing, as the book is marketed for "men of honor and conviction"--isn't that kind of contradictory with that Ian Astbury looking cover?  The "reviews" are fantastic and made me laugh in much the same way as I did when hearing the vocals in a certain Countess song for the first time.  Alas, I doubt I'll be joining the affiliate program.  The $19.95 price for a .pdf is a bit too steep, particularly since the site doesn't specifically mention if there's anything in there about Peter Knutson or Logue's illustrious medical career.  For that price I want several hundred pages of how the Master of Disguise cover was conceived and executed (and why they didn't get a, uh, perkier gal for the cover).

Be sure to check out the photo gallery, lots of classic (and other) stuff.  Considering anything semi-recent, probably the best classic metal bandsite photo gallery after Nasty Savage's.

I love it.

*"Crazy Saturday Night" is musically decent, but most of that lame early '90s hard rock shit they did makes me want to sing "HE'S THE JUDAS OF US ALL...BE-TRAYAAAAAAAH!  BE-TRAYAAAAAAAH!"

**Don't feel bad.  Cyriis was clearly a gift to metal from extraterrestrial forces.

And that band was called Hiroshima.

I suspect the majority of Priest fans worked backwards to the Rocka Rolla era from whatever their JP initiation was.  Anachronistically, I started with it, as "Dying to Meet You" was the first track on The Best of Judas Priest with their Gull material.  It was the first time I had ever really sat down and seriously listened to metal, let alone Priest.  My young self had a very nebulous idea of metal based almost solely on aesthetics and mid '80s pop culture portrayals, and of course, like a dork, I had christened myself a fan before I had even really heard any actual music.

Initially, I found "Dying to Meet You" very disappointing--it lacked the sizzle, the power, and the excitement I was expecting.  It was very morose and lethargic compared to my preconceptions. I recall making some vague associations with whatever mental concept I had of old progressive rock at the time, but I'm sure that I had such limited grasp of genres and musical styles, the term really wouldn't have meant much to me. Were someone to tell me that's what heavy metal was, I would have moved on to something else.  Then the galloping "hero, hero" part kicked in, everything clicked, and my destiny was set. And while I won't claim to have taken any particular notice of the drumming back then, John Hinch was still involved, in some small way, in things that set my life trajectory.

The post title and audio clip* come from the John Hinch interview responses from the "Insight Series" versions of The Best of Judas Priest.**   They're available to hear on YouTube.  While Mr. Tipton is sadly not a fan, anyone interested in Gull-era Priest or the state of pre-NWOBHM British hard rock should give them a listen.

*UPDATE: Apparently it doesn't work, and I have even less interest in fixing technical issues with this blog than I do in technical death metal.  Listen to the interview stuff and you'll figure out the clip.

**The expanded edition of the CD with the Hinch tracks holds the distinction of being one of only two CDs I've ever bought at a Wal-Mart (and which are the only times I've ever gotten music at a regular department store, in fact).  Wondering what the other was, aren't you?  The Eternal Masters Black Sabbath tribute with Cadaver and Cannibal Corpse.

Warfare, Noise

I recently came across this:

The visuals are obviously entertaining, but the music, not so much.  This could use some overdubbing with something more thematically appropriate like Holocausto (speaking of which, I have yet to hear Diário de Guerra yet and don't have very high hopes for it, but the artwork is FUCKING KILLER.  Reminds me of a Ghanaian movie poster version of the Persecution Mania cover).

In fact, there are a slew of high budget vids (I'm not going to bother linking them all):

The corpsepainted Tommy Wiseau/Pete Sandoval hybrid is the father of the younger fellow, which makes total sense in context.  Offhand I can't think of any examples of metal nepotism resulting in anything great, only things like a garbage Omen album.  In addition to this, there are also vids for the duo's punk project and some extremely cheap looking short film stuff, which all seemingly exist to showcase the son's production, edting, and CG, uh, skills.

While I wholeheartedly support the impalement of Fenriz, of course the great irony here is that pointlessly generic lo-fi black metal and dorky corpsepaint are themselves metal fads that desperately need to be summarily executed.  This almost reminds me of how Beelzeebubth from Mystifier seemed staunchly traditionalist and against stereotypical Norwegian BM trends--very sensibly so--in past interviews, but rather than the nighttime Christ-abusing maniacs of the debut, his current bandmates look like a laughable appropriation of '90s Scandinavian BM aesthetics by middle-aged men.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that some of the older songs posted on YouTube are more listenable, with less ridiculous vocals and the semblance of something like actual drums.  Sadly, the associated videos are far less visually exciting.

There's also a track which Metal-Archives claims is from 1991, long before the son was involved:

I don't think they should have expected a phone call from Cogumelo based on this, but as dismal black/death (with that endearingly sloppy soloing), it sounds right in line with the old Brazilian demo scene and is fairly enjoyable.

Lee Aaron - Two Masculine Names, One Mediocre Album

I'm not going to comment on the pic, since Mses. Pesch and Greening aren't looking their best here, and besides, it's not like I would have turned down a sexual favor from either.  However, if you were excited about Lee Aaron's inclusion over any of the other bands whose logos appear on the cover, you are a truly sick individual and should leave this blog immediately.

One of my eventual plans for this blog is a regular feature based on brutally honest reviews of females in metal bands (particularly '80s), both in terms of looks and music (Spoiler alerts: Acid and Holy Moses are terribly overrated, one of the greatest female contributions to metal ever was done by a pop/rock songwriter under a pseudonym, and you're probably safe from valid criticism withering misogynistic attacks if you're in a deathdoom band). This post could be considered somewhat of a precursor to that, except, well, Metal Queen...isn't very metal. Sure, there's some present, and given Lee's musical output both before and after, it's surprisingly heavy at times. But I suspect those who overpraise this and take the album title literally are more likely to consider Helix and Kick Axe to be classic '80s Canadian metal than Exciter and Anvil.

I never thought of Lee Aaron as a world-class beauty, but she was attractive in her 20s, and certainly hotter than most females associated with rock music. It could be argued that Lee's topless photos for Oui are more interesting than her music ever was, but given her smallish tits and severely overdone hair/makeup, I never found them all that titillating. Unfortunately, she remained clothed in later pictures with less exaggerated coifs, although she still had a penchant for odd photoshoots--posing with truck exhaust stacks, wielding a crowbar, and of course the whole Metal Queen budget barbarian thing.

The album's guitar sound may lean towards the heavy--yet polished--side, but there are only two actual metal tracks on Metal Queen. The solemn intro and epic aspirations of the title track initially point to Dio, although it clearly also wants to be a simplistic, catchy Twisted Sister/Quiet Riot-type anthem (complete with gang vocals in the chorus).   The solo section is genuinely great, and I also hear some Thor undercurrents in the main riff--with some minor tweaking, it wouldn't sound terribly out of place on Only the Strong. "Deceiver" is the album's speedy tune; it opens like Loudness circa '85 and then settles into the Priest veneration typical of the heavier strain of '80s mainstream metal.

As for the rest of the album, well, "Lady of the Darkest Night" is pretty catchy, and "Steal Away Your Love" is notable for its valuable information on dealing with rapists since Lee really sounds like Leather Leone at some points. The rest is rather unspectacular chorus-driven hard rock.  "Shake It Up" is a upbeat, goofy rocker that seems to take a mildly anti-disco lyrical stance.  The Cars' song of the same name is far more menacing.  The exceedingly corny "We Will Be Rockin'" may as well be titled "C'mon Rawkers Let's Rawk."

Lee would have been quite a formidable female metal vocalist had she had consistently heavy stuff to sing on. She reminds me of Jan Melanson from the first Reckless album (ironically, another Canadian release that typically has its metalness greatly exaggerated) mixed with Ann Boelyn and Leather Leone (though not quite as gritty and husky as either).

The two metal songs are solid quality-wise (PROTIP: get the Australian promo 7" if you want all killer, no filler) and I wouldn't hesitate to throw them on for some occasional variety. They were never in the running as contenders for truly great metal songs, though--female-fronted or otherwise.

Finally, the video of the title track:

The monk being set ablaze by the sort of flame-spewing prop you'd see at the end of a monster truck show is pretty neat, but the laughable green laser effect almost immediately negates it.  A certain level of schlockiness should be expected and even welcomed with any larger budget '80s videos, but this is frankly just C-grade shit compared to videos such as "Holy Diver," "Last in Line," or "Fear No Evil."