Lee Aaron - Two Masculine Names, One Mediocre Album

I'm not going to comment on the pic, since Mses. Pesch and Greening aren't looking their best here, and besides, it's not like I would have turned down a sexual favor from either.  However, if you were excited about Lee Aaron's inclusion over any of the other bands whose logos appear on the cover, you are a truly sick individual and should leave this blog immediately.

One of my eventual plans for this blog is a regular feature based on brutally honest reviews of females in metal bands (particularly '80s), both in terms of looks and music (Spoiler alerts: Acid and Holy Moses are terribly overrated, one of the greatest female contributions to metal ever was done by a pop/rock songwriter under a pseudonym, and you're probably safe from valid criticism withering misogynist attacks if you're in a deathdoom band). This post could be considered somewhat of a precursor to that, except, well, Metal Queen...isn't very metal. Sure, there's some present, and given Lee's musical output both before and after, it's surprisingly heavy at times. But I suspect those who overpraise this and take the album title literally are more likely to consider Helix and Kick Axe to be classic '80s Canadian metal than Exciter and Anvil.

I never thought of Lee Aaron as a world-class beauty, but she was attractive in her 20s, and certainly hotter than most females associated with rock music. It could be argued that Lee's topless photos for Oui are more interesting than her music ever was, but given her smallish tits and severely overdone hair/makeup, I never found them all that titillating. Unfortunately, she remained clothed in later pictures with less exaggerated coifs, although she still had a penchant for odd photoshoots--posing with truck exhaust stacks, wielding a crowbar, and of course the whole Metal Queen budget barbarian thing.

The album's guitar sound may lean towards the heavy--yet polished--side, but there are only two actual metal tracks on Metal Queen. The solemn intro and epic aspirations of the title track initially point to Dio, although it clearly also wants to be a simplistic, catchy Twisted Sister/Quiet Riot-type anthem (complete with gang vocals in the chorus).   The solo section is genuinely great, and I also hear some Thor undercurrents in the main riff--with some minor tweaking, it wouldn't sound terribly out of place on Only the Strong. "Deceiver" is the album's speedy tune; it opens like Loudness circa '85 and then settles into the Priest veneration typical of the heavier strain of '80s mainstream metal.

As for the rest of the album, well, "Lady of the Darkest Night" is pretty catchy, and "Steal Away Your Love" is notable for its valuable information on dealing with rapists since Lee really sounds like Leather Leone at some points. The rest is rather unspectacular chorus-driven hard rock.  "Shake It Up" is a upbeat, goofy rocker that seems to take a mildly anti-disco lyrical stance.  The Cars' song of the same name is far more menacing.  The exceedingly corny "We Will Be Rockin'" may as well be titled "C'mon Rawkers Let's Rawk."

Lee would have been quite a formidable female metal vocalist had she had consistently heavy stuff to sing on. She reminds me of Jan Melanson from the first Reckless album (ironically, another Canadian release that typically has its metalness greatly exaggerated) mixed with Ann Boelyn and Leather Leone (though not quite as gritty and husky as either).

The two metal songs are solid quality-wise (PROTIP: get the Australian promo 7" if you want all killer, no filler) and I wouldn't hesitate to throw them on for some occasional variety. They were never in the running as contenders for truly great metal songs, though--female-fronted or otherwise.

Finally, the video of the title track:

The monk being set ablaze by the sort of flame-spewing prop you'd see at the end of a monster truck show is pretty neat, but the laughable green laser effect almost immediately negates it.  A certain level of schlockiness should be expected and even welcomed with any larger budget '80s videos, but this is frankly just C-grade shit compared to videos such as "Holy Diver," "Last in Line," or "Fear No Evil."