Weird Tales of Metal - The Best Heavy Metal from Europe CD (1989)

Apparently the best heavy metal from Europe is mostly hard rock by volume

 

Imagine it's the late '80s. What? No, no. Sadly, there's no New Renaissance Rec. buying spree involved. Don't interrupt me.

So let's say you happen to be the head of a music entertainment company, an evolutionary permutation of your family's old plastics business, which itself spun off one of America's premiere manufacturers and distributors of children's records. You've got loads of experience with diversification, as in addition to the main kiddie record hustle, the record plant was pumping out all sorts of budget vinyl under various sub-labels--there was even a dedicated religious imprint. But now, it's the CD age. You want to continue the finger-in-every-pie business approach and have multiple sub-labels spanning numerous forms of music. Ultimately, you end up releasing a single* heavy metal compilation, and this is the result. Best of all, the location of your factory just so happens to lend itself to being a fantastic name for a heavy metal sub-label.

Let's not pretend for a moment that any discerning heavy metal fan should take the title literally, and  that this was any kind of genuine attempt to present the best iron'n'steel late '80s Europe had to offer. It would be shocking if any compilation brazen enough to call itself The Best Heavy Metal from Europe actually delivered the goods! I would have been quite content with a compilation of solid-but-far-from-the-best Euro-HM, but sadly, this CD has all the hallmarks of being made solely to capitalize on heavy metal's commercial popularity. The wonky band selection and overall lightness just reeks of being the result of intervention/help in band selection by insidious journalistic forces (I would have suspected Kerrang!, but there's actually some (self-?)fellating of Metal Hammer in the May-Linn writeup in the booklet).

I suspect most of the people who actually bought this around the time of its release wouldn't have even been the types to fully appreciate it. Most of the tracks are pretty lightweight for anyone into traditional metal, and even for more into hard rock and hair band stuff, this was probably little more than a novelty. Despite all this, I find it intriguing that a release this late in the '80s completely disregards thrash, and just as an early overground attempt to compile some comparatively obscure and "exotic" metal/hard rock, it's an interesting relic, especially in light of the state of archaic heavy metal hunting today. On with the tracks:

Lenny Wolf's Germany - German National Anthem/Young Ones

<Insert naughty "Horst-Wessel-Lied" joke here> This is older 1982 material that was only released around 1989, I assume to capitalize on Herr Wollschlager's success with Kingdom Come. Much heavier and more enjoyable than either Kingdom Come or Stone Fury, but still more in the hard rock realm rather than full-on metal. Has a somewhat early '80s Scorpions vibe, and Lenny's vocals here actually remind me much more of an accented Geddy Lee than anything Robert Plant.

 

Skanners - Turn It Louder Now

While the band is a very solid choice to represent Italy, I can't say the same for the unfortunate song selection. Even their first album had some songs with a strong commercial edge, but the AOR keyboards here are a bit much. Just as American '80s hard rock emulation, it's ok, but c'mon! I'm looking for some of The Best Heavy Metal from Europe. This isn't it.

 

Mogg - In and Out of Love

More AOR. It seems particularly insipid to include this on what is purportedly a heavy metal comp. 

Also should add that I didn't realize they were Swedes for years, and whenever I saw the band mentioned somewhere, I just assumed it was an eponymous Phil Mogg project.

 

Tygers of Pan Tang - Open to Seduction

Yet even more AOR. Given the relative popularity of ToPT compared to the other bands here, I suspect far more people knew about the musical nosedive they took after their third album, so this track comes as less of a shock.

Difficult as it may be to admit, the heavier guitars and overall catchiness make it come off far better than the Mogg tune. I remember a review (Kerrang!, I think) that called Tony Dolan-era Venom "a spent force making unremarkable records," which is more fitting for this era of the Tygers.

 

Rash Panzer - AC/DC

Ultimately, it's just a hard rock band covering Sweet, but the speed and exuberance displayed here are refreshing after the last few duds. 

 

Zero Nine - Total Blackout

The Voodoo You era isn't the band's most flattering, but not their softest material, either. Hard-driving stuff but a falls a bit short of being full-on metal, and I could do without the (limited) keyboard use. Still, to be fair, in the company of the previous tracks, it seems relatively heavy.

 

Blind Petition - Addicted to Saddness

Quaint speed metal. In other contexts this would probably be seen as lacking some punch, although it comes off quite heavy compared to the hard rockers here.

 

Crosshead - Danger

Of course, the most obscure band on the comp. at the time delivers the heaviest and most traditional track. Again, it's all about context--the song stands tall and proud here but is more middle-of-the-road in its other compilation appearances alongside metal bands. Still, I can't help but smile and fistbang to the gang chorus.

 

May Linn - In the Shelter of the Night

Another victim of poor song selection. The song mostly trundles along harmlessly, but I never liked the overly saccharine choruses with the keyboards. It also feels completely odd that by virtue of being Shark Rec. signees, they're probably the most well-known band included on here after ToPT and Lenny.

 

Kingsize - Mr. O 

This Swedish one-off group did an obscure 7" single with 2 tracks composed for the 1987 Mr. Olympia bodybuilding competition in Gothenburg. Not metal by any means, but I somewhat respect just how much it revels in sheer '80s-ness, particularly "The Final Countdown"-esque synth fanfares during the choruses. While synth-heavy AOR shouldn't be on a strictly metal comp. of any kind, the solo section alone makes it marginally heavier than several of the other rockish tracks on here.

 

So yeah, most of the appeal here is the comparative obscurity of the bands, especially for the time. As an actual metal compilation, it's sorely lacking, and I daresay that labels like K-Tel have put out better examples of metal compilations. Might I even suggest that the attempt to reach for commerciality here based on the song selection seems to have done very little to benefit the label or the majority of people buying it. So yeah, The Best Heavy Metal from Europe is much less an awful compilation than a disappointingly ironic one. This is a weird tale of metal that ends up being mostly hard rock.

 

 

*There was actually a companion compilation of sorts. I'm planning to cover it eventually so I won't say too much, but based on the circumstances of its release, it's not really clear whether it was meant to be complimentary or competitive. 

Commercial Metal, Vol. 12

  

The "orient yourself" wordplay is clever, but of course they have to ruin it a moment later by calling this the debut album. Despite the huge step down in quality from Law of Devil's Land and Disillusion, it's not as bad as a lot of their later material. But let's face it, by 1985 they were easily outclassed by the Anthem and Reaction debuts as well as scores of smaller bands. It's unfortunate--but not any surprise--that their shift to a cornier hair band-esque aesthetic coincided with their big commercial push in America. Still, it's commendable such a heavy album got a TV spot at all.

Torn Flesh - Crux of the Mosh

I've long been curious about this album, since ages ago I read it was purported to be an example of Christian crossover thrash, and really, who wouldn't be interested in an evangelical version of D.R.I. or Cryptic Slaughter? Plus, every picture of the band made them look like gang member extras from the set of Death Wish III (I'm really hoping the one fellow fully committed to an actual nose-to-ear piercing chain like Jane Child or the Skid Row guy, but I suspect it's a clip-on).

Sadly, aside from "Kill the Dead," closer "The Ultimate Finale," and a few other spots here and there, nothing really maintains crossover energy or velocity consistently--they're clearly quite a punkish band, but it comes off more like a thrash band that listened to too much Fear. Despite not being all that fast or vicious or even possessing exceptional metal songwriting skills, just as punky thrash, there's a somewhat pleasant genericness to the music. But then there's the issue of the vocals, one of the strangest stylistic choices I've heard in metal. They're done in a very affected gruff voice which sounds like a cross between a Trey Parker character (I hear mostly Mr. Garrison) and a toned down, less macho version of the vocals on Dead Serios' "Who's Your Buddy?" album. The vocalist typically tries to cram as many words into as compact of a space as possible, often sounding like an irate middle aged man rambling incoherently over the music. Even when he's not as motormouthed, the vocals are belted out with little regard to how their timing or cadence fits the music. Unique, yes, but it makes it hard to listen to this conventionally and not just as a quirky novelty spin.

Not going to dwell on the lyrics too much--I appreciate the straightforwardness despite it being Christian stuff and there being some dorky examples of metaphorical lyrics.  Fundamentally it's not more preachy than some Sacred Reich or Nuclear Assault songs. Besides, if you're on this blog, you should be wearing your adult pants (unless you happened to be perusing the Lee Aaron post, in which case they might be off). The opening verse to "Innocent Eyes" is pretty hilarious though (lyrics include "Happy baby is being spoon-fed/Patted on the back and placed into bed"), especially since the underlying music sounds like something off of Anal Cunt's Picnic of Love. Oddly, they chose to put "(Time to mosh)" in the lyrics sheet at the end of a song dealing (rather mildly) with child exploitation (in the actual song, it's a rather un-rageworthy instrumental reprise).

From what I understand the band was formed by youth ministry members as a reaction against secular music, which isn't a big surprise. Compared to the other Christian crossover albums released in 1989, this is less aggressive and feels more contrived than The Lead (to be fair, the opening riff to "Kill the Dead" is by itself better than anything The Lead ever did) or The Crucified. Doesn't seem like those odd vocals did much good for them, although would things have been much different had they been swapped out? Who knows...just another weird tale of metal.

Bestial Lust (random metal musings)

 

I can't wait for my sweet AliExpress t-shirt.

Recently found a copy of The Return...... for $2. It's a particularly cheap-looking later CD version with uncrisp layout graphics, although I was happy that it had the original LP cover on the back, since my older disc only has a plain tracklist. I don't dislike it, but it's certainly my least favorite out of the first 3 Bathory albums, and even out of the first 5 depending on whether I'm in a Blood Fire Death mood or not.

A few vintage magazine reviews (mostly UK reviews, one of which I'm almost certain was from Metal Forces) referred to this as death metal. Certainly some of this had to do with the unfamiliar waters and nebulous boundaries of the embryonic extreme metal scene, so new as to lack much codification.  But since the album is very bestial and even brutal in its approach, I wonder if it partially had to do with trying to describe them in a way that somewhat differentiated them from Venom (ironically, I think "Bestial Lust" is one of the purest examples of Venom worship ever done--if the English in the lyrics was cleaned up a bit and it had the Black Metal production, it would be a Venom track).

I'm far from the first to suggest the idea, but I don't really see The Return...... mentioned much as a foundational influence for all of the bestial black/death and war metal stuff.  I remember immediately thinking of aspects of the album's aura and production choices when I heard Bestial Warlust and Blasphemy for the first time, and even some in the Conqueror demo too.  At the same time, I also hear production aspects and the relentless approach as an influence in a lot of the faster blastbeat ridden Scandinavian styled black metal (think all the Panzer Division Marduk and Pure Holocaust type stuff), only taken to an unfortunately monotonous extreme (also makes me wonder how much of an influence the second Bathory was on Von's Satanic Blood, since there's a certain trance-like monotony to the simplistic, compact songs, although there it's a positive aspect).  

Coincidentally, one of my pet peeves with the album is the weak rerecording of "The Return of the Darkness and Evil."  Yes, it has a faster tempo and more "brutal" approach, yet it lacks all the wonderful charismatic touches of the original like the drum intro and the ultra evil reverb drenched vocals.  Applied on a much larger scale, these are the same reasons why a lot of the extreme metal scene kind of disinterested me after the late '80s and early '90s--like that new version of "The Return of the Darkness and Evil," it seemed more sterile.  And less metal.

Females are Clueless About Metal, Vol. 4.

Maybe it's unwelcoming because you're kind of a dum dum?

It seems like the, uh, research for this article was done by playing a game of telephone.  Why not just copy/paste from the Wikipedia article on Mayhem?

Also, if anyone is aware of any NSBM bands who actually wore SS uniforms and the like, please let me know so I can check them out!  I'm only aware of bands either following fairly standard BM aesthetic tropes, or looking like football hooligans.

Thankfully, her "music" and "journalism" endeavors seem to have ended a while ago.

Archive of original article here:

I will add I have no particularly strong opinions about Pink Mass.  I remember before actually hearing them, they were often presented as some sort of war metal parody band, but in reality they primarily seem to be middling grindcore.  Just throw on some Naked Whipper instead (or for superior aesthetics coupled with better music, Tsatthoggua or Shitfucker).

After the Fall from Grace

I've been aware of Savage Grace's reactivation, and while I don't really have any particular expectations, I do think it has the potential to be more interesting than the 2010 gigs considering Chris Logue will be on guitar again.  I was web surfing earlier and what I was unfortunately not aware of is that THE SAVAGE GRACE WEBSITE IS FUCKING INSANE.

As a huge Savage Grace fan (well, at least of their '80s stuff*), I don't mean that in a smarmy SJW-esque way either.  Despite me being terribly late on this, as soon as I saw some of the crazy shit on there, I knew I had to make a blog post.  

Eh, as much as I love Master of Disguise--it's almost (but not quite**) neck and neck with Skeptics Apocalypse as my favorite US speed metal album--this is some terribly overzealous embellishment at best.  I subscribe to what I think is a pretty standard view: Priest, Accept, and Anvil having early examples of individual speed metal tracks, and the Exciter debut being the first overall speed metal album.  As for the US?  Never really thought about it too much.  I consider The Dominatress and the early SG stuff to be far more USPM than speed metal anyway.  Perhaps the '82 Exodus demo, or the Abattoir or Sceptre demo stuff?

Then there's the book:

This is a bit confusing, as the book is marketed for "men of honor and conviction"--isn't that kind of contradictory with that Ian Astbury looking cover?  The "reviews" are fantastic and made me laugh in much the same way as I did when hearing the vocals in a certain Countess song for the first time.  Alas, I doubt I'll be joining the affiliate program.  The $19.95 price for a .pdf is a bit too steep, particularly since the site doesn't specifically mention if there's anything in there about Peter Knutson or Logue's illustrious medical career.  For that price I want several hundred pages of how the Master of Disguise cover was conceived and executed (and why they didn't get a, uh, perkier gal for the cover).

Be sure to check out the photo gallery, lots of classic (and other) stuff.  Considering anything semi-recent, probably the best classic metal bandsite photo gallery after Nasty Savage's.

I love it.

*"Crazy Saturday Night" is musically decent, but most of that lame early '90s hard rock shit they did makes me want to sing "HE'S THE JUDAS OF US ALL...BE-TRAYAAAAAAAH!  BE-TRAYAAAAAAAH!"

**Don't feel bad.  Cyriis was clearly a gift to metal from extraterrestrial forces.

And that band was called Hiroshima.

I suspect the majority of Priest fans worked backwards to the Rocka Rolla era from whatever their JP initiation was.  Anachronistically, I started with it, as "Dying to Meet You" was the first track on The Best of Judas Priest with their Gull material.  It was the first time I had ever really sat down and seriously listened to metal, let alone Priest.  My young self had a very nebulous idea of metal based almost solely on aesthetics and mid '80s pop culture portrayals, and of course, like a dork, I had christened myself a fan before I had even really heard any actual music.

Initially, I found "Dying to Meet You" very disappointing--it lacked the sizzle, the power, and the excitement I was expecting.  It was very morose and lethargic compared to my preconceptions. I recall making some vague associations with whatever mental concept I had of old progressive rock at the time, but I'm sure that I had such limited grasp of genres and musical styles, the term really wouldn't have meant much to me. Were someone to tell me that's what heavy metal was, I would have moved on to something else.  Then the galloping "hero, hero" part kicked in, everything clicked, and my destiny was set. And while I won't claim to have taken any particular notice of the drumming back then, John Hinch was still involved, in some small way, in things that set my life trajectory.

The post title and audio clip* come from the John Hinch interview responses from the "Insight Series" versions of The Best of Judas Priest.**   They're available to hear on YouTube.  While Mr. Tipton is sadly not a fan, anyone interested in Gull-era Priest or the state of pre-NWOBHM British hard rock should give them a listen.

*UPDATE: Apparently it doesn't work, and I have even less interest in fixing technical issues with this blog than I do in technical death metal.  Listen to the interview stuff and you'll figure out the clip.

**The expanded edition of the CD with the Hinch tracks holds the distinction of being one of only two CDs I've ever bought at a Wal-Mart (and which are the only times I've ever gotten music at a regular department store, in fact).  Wondering what the other was, aren't you?  The Eternal Masters Black Sabbath tribute with Cadaver and Cannibal Corpse.

Warfare, Noise

I recently came across this:

The visuals are obviously entertaining, but the music, not so much.  This could use some overdubbing with something more thematically appropriate like Holocausto (speaking of which, I have yet to hear Diário de Guerra yet and don't have very high hopes for it, but the artwork is FUCKING KILLER.  Reminds me of a Ghanaian movie poster version of the Persecution Mania cover).

In fact, there are a slew of high budget vids (I'm not going to bother linking them all):

The corpsepainted Tommy Wiseau/Pete Sandoval hybrid is the father of the younger fellow, which makes total sense in context.  Offhand I can't think of any examples of metal nepotism resulting in anything great, only things like a garbage Omen album.  In addition to this, there are also vids for the duo's punk project and some extremely cheap looking short film stuff, which all seemingly exist to showcase the son's production, edting, and CG, uh, skills.

While I wholeheartedly support the impalement of Fenriz, of course the great irony here is that pointlessly generic lo-fi black metal and dorky corpsepaint are themselves metal fads that desperately need to be summarily executed.  This almost reminds me of how Beelzeebubth from Mystifier seemed staunchly traditionalist and against stereotypical Norwegian BM trends--very sensibly so--in past interviews, but rather than the nighttime Christ-abusing maniacs of the debut, his current bandmates look like a laughable appropriation of '90s Scandinavian BM aesthetics by middle-aged men.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that some of the older songs posted on YouTube are more listenable, with less ridiculous vocals and the semblance of something like actual drums.  Sadly, the associated videos are far less visually exciting.

There's also a track which Metal-Archives claims is from 1991, long before the son was involved:

I don't think they should have expected a phone call from Cogumelo based on this, but as dismal black/death (with that endearingly sloppy soloing), it sounds right in line with the old Brazilian demo scene and is fairly enjoyable.

Lee Aaron - Two Masculine Names, One Mediocre Album

I'm not going to comment on the pic, since Mses. Pesch and Greening aren't looking their best here, and besides, it's not like I would have turned down a sexual favor from either.  However, if you were excited about Lee Aaron's inclusion over any of the other bands whose logos appear on the cover, you are a truly sick individual and should leave this blog immediately.

One of my eventual plans for this blog is a regular feature based on brutally honest reviews of females in metal bands (particularly '80s), both in terms of looks and music (Spoiler alerts: Acid and Holy Moses are terribly overrated, one of the greatest female contributions to metal ever was done by a pop/rock songwriter under a pseudonym, and you're probably safe from valid criticism withering misogynistic attacks if you're in a deathdoom band). This post could be considered somewhat of a precursor to that, except, well, Metal Queen...isn't very metal. Sure, there's some present, and given Lee's musical output both before and after, it's surprisingly heavy at times. But I suspect those who overpraise this and take the album title literally are more likely to consider Helix and Kick Axe to be classic '80s Canadian metal than Exciter and Anvil.

I never thought of Lee Aaron as a world-class beauty, but she was attractive in her 20s, and certainly hotter than most females associated with rock music. It could be argued that Lee's topless photos for Oui are more interesting than her music ever was, but given her smallish tits and severely overdone hair/makeup, I never found them all that titillating. Unfortunately, she remained clothed in later pictures with less exaggerated coifs, although she still had a penchant for odd photoshoots--posing with truck exhaust stacks, wielding a crowbar, and of course the whole Metal Queen budget barbarian thing.

The album's guitar sound may lean towards the heavy--yet polished--side, but there are only two actual metal tracks on Metal Queen. The solemn intro and epic aspirations of the title track initially point to Dio, although it clearly also wants to be a simplistic, catchy Twisted Sister/Quiet Riot-type anthem (complete with gang vocals in the chorus).   The solo section is genuinely great, and I also hear some Thor undercurrents in the main riff--with some minor tweaking, it wouldn't sound terribly out of place on Only the Strong. "Deceiver" is the album's speedy tune; it opens like Loudness circa '85 and then settles into the Priest veneration typical of the heavier strain of '80s mainstream metal.

As for the rest of the album, well, "Lady of the Darkest Night" is pretty catchy, and "Steal Away Your Love" is notable for its valuable information on dealing with rapists since Lee really sounds like Leather Leone at some points. The rest is rather unspectacular chorus-driven hard rock.  "Shake It Up" is a upbeat, goofy rocker that seems to take a mildly anti-disco lyrical stance.  The Cars' song of the same name is far more menacing.  The exceedingly corny "We Will Be Rockin'" may as well be titled "C'mon Rawkers Let's Rawk."

Lee would have been quite a formidable female metal vocalist had she had consistently heavy stuff to sing on. She reminds me of Jan Melanson from the first Reckless album (ironically, another Canadian release that typically has its metalness greatly exaggerated) mixed with Ann Boelyn and Leather Leone (though not quite as gritty and husky as either).

The two metal songs are solid quality-wise (PROTIP: get the Australian promo 7" if you want all killer, no filler) and I wouldn't hesitate to throw them on for some occasional variety. They were never in the running as contenders for truly great metal songs, though--female-fronted or otherwise.

Finally, the video of the title track:

The monk being set ablaze by the sort of flame-spewing prop you'd see at the end of a monster truck show is pretty neat, but the laughable green laser effect almost immediately negates it.  A certain level of schlockiness should be expected and even welcomed with any larger budget '80s videos, but this is frankly just C-grade shit compared to videos such as "Holy Diver," "Last in Line," or "Fear No Evil."

AMON GUITARIST ASSAULTS DRUNKEN RAPE ROCKER

 

Here's the full Deicide set; Duce appears during "Carnage in the Temple of the Damned" at 18:51:

Never seen Glen address this incident.  I would assume it was a non-event for him, but he definitely seems like someone who would have appreciated the Mentors.  On the other hand, I get the impression that the Hoffman brothers tend to be the humorless sort (although really, how true can that be if you allow someone named Jechael in your band?).

Of course, this wasn't the only Deicide-related drama during the '92 Metalfest--according to Ted Kirkpatrick, Deicide threatened not to play if Tourniquet wasn't knocked off the bill.  Yeah, in theory it's kind of lame, but it's hard to be sympathetic given Tourniquet's output after their first three albums.  Tourniquet wasn't the only no-show listed on the flyer, as Cirith Ungol had dissolved months before the fest; if I remember correctly, they were still listed on Metalfest promotional material for a deceptively long time.

The rising popularity of death metal combined with pay-to-play logistics and overstuffed band lineups made the 1992 iteration feel like an oddly transitional fest even before multi-stage antics.  Previous Metalfest rosters were largely thrash dominated and unerringly metal-focused for the most part, aside from weird genre-nebulous outliers (Last Crack) and the smattering of more HC/punk-associated bands (yeah yeah, I guess Ludichrist, '88 Cro-Mags, Impulse Manslaughter, etc. are defensible enough, but if you're the type of oddball who would prefer seeing Murphy's Law over a New Renaissance Rec. signee, why are you even here?).  By 1992, the focus was clearly on death metal, although as the musical extremity increased, so did the amount of non-metal acts.  The plot gradually shifted to a largely death metal fest with some odd shit added; by the mid '90s, it seemed less like a decent metal festival and  more like a gauntlet of numerous opening sets to be endured in order to catch Venom, Sodom, Exodus, or some semi-interesting mid-tier band.  I skipped on the final years, and while the lineups concentrated heavily on death and black metal, the bands were largely mediocre, either from their inception or through hanging around past their primes long enough to wear out their welcome (on the plus side, it seems like the overtly non-metal stuff was toned down, or at least seemed more diluted due to the huge volume of bands).

I didn't intend for this to be a general Milwaukee Metalfest post, but I wanted to get some thoughts down, as unfortunately I don't anticipate scraping together enough material for a separate dedicated post.  A reason for this is the lack of documentation--even after a few minutes of searching, I found nothing online about UFO's ridiculous 1995 soundcheck and the ensuing clusterfuck.  I feel reasonably certain Michael Angelo Batio played a quad guitar one year, but that also yielded nothing (was it ever documented by a primitive Geocities or Angelfire site that has been lost to time, or was it merely a Nitro-induced fever dream in my mind?).  

They may not be able to carry a post on their own, but witnessing Cronos' neat stripey pants and that weird version of Destruction fronted by the alternative rock-looking guy are metal memories to cherish and enjoy nonetheless.

Commercial Metal, Vol. 10 (part 2)

Commercial Metal, Vol. 11

Seeing Taking Over in a TV ad feels very odd, as it's a great (and fairly musically un-commercial) album.  While the Commercial Metal posts are fun to do, I'm fully aware that the majority of bands were too small/underground to have TV commercials, so the metal hawked on TV in the 80s/90s was typically the mediocre/lower quality output of bigger bands who justified the expense.  

1987 Overkill doesn't deserve to be shilled alongside an album more for Heavy Metal Parking Lot types and '80s rawkers (to be fair, "Rock Soldiers" is ok for what it is, and it's not the band's fault Atlantic marketed Frehley's Comet as metal here) and the album that marked the start of Manowar's musical decline.

Of the Ephemeral

Your thoughts: do you think people will still be creating and listening to black and death metal music 100, 200, 500 years from now?

"There's this romantic notion of metal continuing indefinitely as some deep musical or cultural achievement.  But humanity always finds ways to express taboo and dark subjects, whether musically or not.

Venom, Bathory, Celtic Frost, Possessed, etc., and the bands that came after resonated with us a lot, and for a variety of reasons.  Future generations will have to decide for themselves if there is anything relevant in that music, and that will say a lot about the world in which they live at the time."

Because There's No Shame in Reusing a Good Idea, Vol. 4 - Hellfire

 

Despite Quorthon's colossal influence on extreme metal, it would take 15 years for a full-fledged musical homage to the first Bathory album. Prior to Into Fire, I'm unaware of any truly blatant early Bathory worship--the Viking era always fared a little better in terms of tributes. While the '90s Norwegian and Swedish black metal scenes were built largely on the progression (or more often, regression) of ideas and elements culled from first 3 or 4 Bathory albums, there weren't any truly accurate pastiches aside from some particularly well-done covers or the odd isolated influence in individual songs.  Even in the '80s, the notable instances of Bathory influence came alongside Venom, Hellhammer/CF, Sodom, and/or general thrash and speed metal influences.  Nowadays, with the proliferation of '80s emulation, black'n'roll, and punk-infused black metal bands, it's somewhat easier to find music that approaches the Bathory s/t sound*, although again, finding early Bathory as the sole or overriding influence is rare--most of the current recordings approaching a '83/'84 Bathory-esque style owe just as much to Venom, Motörhead, and Bulldozer as to Quorthon.

There's no ambiguity with Into Fire; within a few seconds of the intro ending, it should be extremely obvious that one particular album from 1984 provides the musical template here.  The vocals (which show up right away) aren't anything unusual in a general black metal context, but they impede accurate Bathory emulation a bit, as they sound slightly artificially modulated and overly screechy. The title track is strange, as it's just "Armageddon" with minimal changes, so it seems somewhat unusual it's not just a proper cover version--why go to the trouble of creating a new title and lyrics if you're going to play the main riff unaltered anyway?  

Otherwise, the earlier tracks on the album are very good at capturing Bathory stylistically, although compositionally the songs are quite simple, with riffage that seems on the primitive side even by early Bathory standards!  The Into Fire version of  "War," titled "Rise of the Dead" (yeah...) stands out as the best track.  Obviously, this can't hold a candle (much less 13) to the Bathory album, but taken in context as a musical homage or compared to more modern sounding black metal recordings, it's still quite enjoyable. However, the final two tracks are a shame because they suddenly deviate from the formula.  "Witchride" is a slow/mid-paced number which feels very out of place--I assume it's an attempt to provide some tempo variety, but it sounds more like a plodding track from a minimalist black metal band than anything approaching "Raise the Dead."  Closer "Final Offense" is even worse, largely dispensing with the '80s stylings and sounding far more like some generic Bathory-influenced '90s Nordic BM track.

Of course, there can be no discussion of Hellfire without pointing out their MYSTERIOUS ANONYMOUSBAND status.  While it would be kind of interesting to know who's actually behind Hellfire, the main reason I want someone to spill the beans is to shut up all the ridiculous uneducated guesses being made online.  I know, I know, the ruse is that Hellfire is actually from Sweden...But teenage black metal authorities insisting it was the Nifelheim twins?  Or the Nödtveidt brothers?  Seriously?  I'd personally always heard that Hellfire was an old school diversion for either the Falkenbach fellow or one of the Veles guys, which seems plausible given the No Colours connection.  But ultimately, Into Fire is what it is, and given the persistent mystique of early Bathory, Hellfire's anonymity is only fitting.

*"Necromansy" cover notwithstanding, I will say while they're not 100% Bathory sounding, the older Occult Burial material (particularly the demo) is probably the most consistent stuff I've heard at capturing the aura of Bathory's debut, even moreso than Hellfire at times.

Because There's No Shame in Reusing a Good Idea, Vol. 3 - Guillotine

So back In a Time of Blood and Fire in the mid-late '90s, during that first retro-thrash wave, two of the Nocturnal Rites guys (rendered nearly unidentifiable thanks to thrashpervert mustaches) decided to worship Endless Pain musically.  Exactly why isn't a tale of mystery requiring much imagination--OLD KREATOR IS OBVIOUSLY KILLER.  While there are plenty of Kreator influences--particularly vocally--abound in death/thrash and more violent strains of thrash, I can't think of that many examples of truly focused and undiluted classic Kreator emulation.*  And as far as bands paying homage to the debut in any significant way?  Only the Guillotine demo and debut album come to mind; Under the Guillotine also personally ranks as my favorite retro-thrash album and ties for my favorite Necropolis Rec. release.**

Typically when music is tagged as "Kreator worship," it's a gross exaggeration.  Most often it seems to be used as a cheap marketing tactic to compare (usually far lesser) recordings to Pleasure to Kill, but it's also fairly common to see anything remotely thrashy with raspy vocals get a Kreator comparison.  Guillotine have something in their favor though:

THEY ARE BLATANTLY UNORIGINAL.

Yes, the main reason this is so Endless Pain sounding is--suprise, suprise--a good deal of the material is based on slightly changed Endless Pain riffs and chord patterns.  "Executioner" is clearly derived from "Living in Fear," "Leprosy" from "Tormentor," and "Guillotine" from "Bone Breaker."  The individual song homages are kind of dispensed with by the middle of the album (though the chorus of "Total Mayhem" definitely evokes "Pleasure to Kill"***), and instead there are multiple variations on [Kreator's] "Tormentor" mixed with slightly broader Teutonic thrash influences.

As much as these tracks sound like debut-era Kreator, Guillotine doesn't quite emulate the entire Endless Pain album as a whole.  Unfortunately, there's no attempt at Ventor-style caveman vocals, and while Spider's snarling vocals work just fine, they aren't particularly Mille sounding, either.  There are also sadly no Guillotine equivalents for some of the more speed metal-influenced songs such as "Son of Evil" or "Cry War."  Under the Guillotine is tighter and more streamlined than Endless Pain and vicious in its own way, but also less barbaric. There's a wonderful atmosphere of embryonic extreme metal savagery to the Kreator debut; it's not quite as untight as early Sodom or some of the South American stuff,  but there are definite moments where the band seem to be about to go off the rails.  Frankly, Guillotine is a bit too musically proficient to really replicate that effectively.

In most cases, clone bands are good at mimicking the sound and style of the target band, but end up writing far more mediocre (or worse) material.  I'm not going to pretend Guillotine are always fully on par with old Kreator, but simply dismissing them due to unoriginality is to overlook some fine thrash.  They are especially good at coming up with killer choruses ("Violence," "Night Stalker"), and Guillotine's own "Tormentor" is a surprisingly great non-'80s addition to the songtitle's legacy.

As if having a whole album of old Kreator sounding tracks wasn't enough, the '80s veneration even extends to the CD layout and disc face.   The Grim Reaper on the cover could have easily adorned a volume of Metal Massacre, the inner booklet tracklisting looks like it came straight off a cheapo LaserLight CD, and there is a page dedicated to CD care and handling instructions (thoughtfully provided in several languages).  REMEMBER TO USE A CLEAN CLOTH AND WIPE FROM CENTER TO EDGE.  Unfortunately, the Necropolis website/email info on the back ruin what is otherwise an impeccably done retro layout.

As with the whole Scandinavian '90s retrothrash movement as a whole, the album seems to be a bit divisive.  I can understand decrying its pure unoriginality to certain extent, but then again, that's the entire point, and hardly a quality indicator.  Amusingly, the band name alone is apparently quite triggering.  I'm also confused as to why sloppy lo-fi Destruction emulation is acceptable but Kreator emulation is not, or how someone sober could conclude Desekrator's Metal for Demons is a superior album.  Perhaps these people don't like old Kreator, which is a concept I have trouble grasping.  For the record, I've never been particularly bothered by musical emulators, clones, homages, or ripoffs, as long as the results were good.  There are exceptions, of course, but I feel there's a lot more good metal coming from bands trying to emulate old sounds and aesthetics than from bands trying to be "original" and push boundaries.  I am far more interested in enjoying a quality listening experience than broadening my musical horizons.

"Back when we did the first album, we deliberately tried to make everything sound and even look retro.  We wanted every aspect of the album to breathe the 80s - and it truly did."
- Nils Eriksson****


*I obviously haven't heard every demo out there (hopefully there's more great Kreator worship to be discovered), but prior to Guillotine, I think the best and most notable example was Necrodeath's Fragments of Insanity, which would have been a better followup to PtK than Terrible Certainty was.

**Tied with the Nifelheim debut.  Special mentions to early The Black too.

***The only real instance on the album.  I remember when this was released, I saw some reviewers and distro blurbs call it Pleasure to Kill worship--either they didn't actually listen to it and just made a false association between the band name and "Under the Guillotine," or they're nitwits who weren't well-versed in thrash metal.

****I have yet to hear the entire thing, but what I did hear from the Blood Money album was personally disappointing.  It sounded far more like newer Destruction than old Kreator glorification.  "War" lifts that riff about midway through straight from Death's "Left to Die," so at least they're still showing some commitment to rehashing classic stuff.

Anvil: The Story of Anvil

Yep, I finally got around to watching the Anvil documentary (much like the official Treblinka boxsets, better late than never!).  I enjoyed it for what it is, but it wouldn't rank among my top movie-watching experiences, so forget about a formal review.  It being about Anvil is a bit of a double-edged sword--certainly, I was positively predisposed towards the film just from liking their music.  On the other hand, it doesn't go into much depth about the band or their history, and it's not a metal documentary per se; it's obviously framed as a human-interest documentary about two aging bandmates trying to persevere.  Clearly the intent was to appeal to a much wider demographic than metal fans, which is no issue in itself.

It's hard for me not to be cynical about the portrayal of the band's situation.  A major narrative here is the little guy--er, band--overcoming the odds and succeeding, but the documentary makes Lips and Robb seem like overexaggerated underdogs.  Now, I'm not privy to their record sales or their post-Attic relationships with labels and management, but they were consistently releasing albums (and licensing foreign pressings*) on established labels, so clearly things were not as dire as they're made out to be in the film.  Perhaps they were not getting the visibility and recognition they desired, but there were bands far worse-off and/or crippled by obscurity than Anvil.  They wrote songs about the value of autonomy and not succumbing to trends, so it's difficult to believe they were that naive about the state of metal and the music industry 15+ years after having any significant commercial attention.  I realize Sacha Gervasi had to create a compelling story for viewers whose prior knowledge of Anvil was nonexistent, so a lot of a the footage maximizes sympathy for the band out of not-that-uncommon band situations such as low gig turnout or label rejection letters.  Maybe it's the film, maybe it's his stubborn doggedness, maybe it's a mixture of both, but Lips unfortunately comes off as a bit oblivious and Spın̈al Tappish.

I wonder if the film really had that much of a lasting impact on the band's status.  I remember the expected temporary spike in interest back when it was released, but the band appear to have been too heavy and cartoonishly lewd for even the VH1 Classic/Heavy Metal Parking Lot-20-years-later demographic.  I've personally never met or heard of anyone who became a fan of Anvil (or metal in general) just from watching the film; several non-metal fans have told me they really liked the documentary and people in it--but not the band's actual music.   It seemed to me like Juggernaut of Justice had a higher profile upon release than any of their albums since the '80s (though that impression largely comes from all those advance 2-song CD-singles ending up in the sale bins), and around 2010, one of my local record stores suddenly stocked copies of the Metal on Metal reissue.  Perhaps the visibility helped them get a Japanese licensing deal again, as coincidentally This is Thirteen and subsequent albums have all had Japanese pressings (the previous 3 did not).

Does Anvil really deserve more?  Hard to say.  Obviously I overwhelmingly favor their '80s material, but I don't consider them to have ever made any unforgivable musical missteps.**  Quality over longevity any day, but really, don't writing "Metal on Metal" and "666" earn you some slack when even your newer stuff is still fairly solid?  I'm not sure.  I can understand being repeatedly told that Metal on Metal and Forged in Fire are heavy metal classics isn't much consolation if you want a certain degree of commercial success to validate your career as a musician.  Still, Anvil haven't fared that badly; most metal bands will never be loaned a Chris Tsangarides-production-budget amount of money or have a former roadie make a critically acclaimed documentary about them.  And yet had no documentary ever been made, I don't believe anything would be significantly different--still a new album every couple years, with alliterated title of course...

Random post-viewing thoughts

• No matter how brief the appearance, any movie is immediately improved by inclusion of footage of one of the Nifelheim twins and/or Carmen Appice.

• Honestly, onstage persona aside, Lips comes off as...very boring.  I realize the blue collar family man thing fits the context of the documentary, and it's well past the heyday of the band when the majority of any debauchery was likely to happen, but c'mon...The guy's gimmick is playing guitar with a vibrator, and he came up with some fairly raunchy sex-themed songs to boot!  It's pretty disappointing that serving mac and cheese to his kid is the best footage of his home life they could come up with.   At least Robb's painting hobby was somewhat interesting.

• Speaking of raunch, were either of these chicks subject to the activities of any of the more colorful Anvil songs?  They've got kids, so they clearly weren't Backwaxing all the time, and neither of them look like they could fill a D cup:

Anvil Wives: Have They Been Doin' the Butter-Bust Jerky?

Solid fashion choices compared to the Sabotage cover

*I was extremely annoyed that the Canadian and European versions of Plenty of Power had mutually exclusive bonus tracks.

**What happened to the bawdy sex songs that used to be an Anvil staple?  I just realized when writing this post the last overt one was "Mattress Mambo" on Speed of Sound over 20 years ago!

(Should note that the first pic had nothing to do with this post, as it was created 10+ years ago (Robert Culp was still alive!) when I had the time to Photoshop metal into random images.  Since it includes Lips, I thought I may as well put it to use.)

Scott Ian - Swearing Words in Glasgow DVD

Warning: Neil Turbin is not mentioned a single time on this DVD. 

I found this used for a dollar, which just so happened to be the only circumstance under which I'd pay for this.  It's one of those Henry Rollins-esque musician-doing-spoken-word gigs--admittedly, not really my thing, since I tend to gravitate towards musician-doing-spoken-word stuff more along the lines of vintage Venom radio station IDs or 1985 Slayer stage banter.  In fairness, this is a Scott Ian DVD, not an Anthrax one, so most of the stories deal with celebrity encounters as a result of being in Anthrax rather than about the band itself.  Scott is a better speaker than I expected, but he falls a bit short of being engaging or humorous enough to warrant rewatching this, at least anytime soon.  There's also a decided lack of metal minutiae to excite the die-hard fan.  Still, there are far worse ways to waste time than watching this once--LIKE LISTENING TO MOST POST-'80S ANTHRAX.

After some introductory stuff, the set can be roughly divided into three story arcs: a Spreading the Disease-era European promotional trip that segues into a chance encounter with Lemmy (as well as its aftermath and some general Lemmy anecdotes), an Al Jourgensen story that leads into Scott briefly speaking with Steven Spielberg, and tales of Scott and a certain pink-bearded poser pranking each other.  This is followed by a Q&A session.  Too bad he's shitty at impressions (which he admits), as most of the material relies heavily on quoted dialogue and could have been funnier with some proper voices.  There's some interesting background art used at the beginning, including a cartoon with an unnaturally svelte looking Jon Zazula carrying Scott through an airport, as well as a great parody of the Maiden Running Free single artwork.  Otherwise, unless you have an affinity for watching bald, goatee-d men give glorified PowerPoint presentations, there's not much in the way of interesting visuals.  Overall, his stories would probably have had just as much impact had I read them in a book, with the added bonus of being able to get through them faster.

The Q&A yields some okay material, but there are a lot of predictable softball questions about Jeff Hanneman's then-recent death, Anthrax's Married... with Children appearance, and the biggest asshole he's dealt with in the music biz (Blackie Lawless).  No questions about stagediving senior citizens in Bochum or what he thought about Belladonna's solo albums, though.  Unsurprisingly, these came from a pretty dumb looking audience--the entire front row looked to be geeky casual metal "fan" detritus who never went beyond fellating the big four (or whatever the UK equivalent of the average Ozzfest attendee/Hot Topic customer is).  Alas, not a Holocaust shirt to be seen.

Oddly, a prize drawing for a guitar was kept in after the Q&A.  It's just useless time wasting filler for non-attendees, and should have been banished to the extras menu if it had to be included at all.  When checking out the actual extras, there's a magic mushrooms story with a twist ending, which is possibly Scott's best material--so naturally, they separate it from the rest of the set.

This being a spoken-word performance DVD, it should come as no surprise that my favorite parts were two sections of music.  Anthrax's cover of Rush's "Anthem" plays over the end credits (I had not heard it before), and while the crowdfunding shout-outs themselves are corny filler, Scott does a brief acoustic rendition of "I am the Law" at the beginning.

Should also add that this comes with a bonus CD...The prospect of  getting two discs for a buck was mildly exciting for about 20 seconds until I realized it was just gonna be an audio version of his talk.  Indeed it is, and worse yet, it's indexed as a single track so you can't skip to the good parts easily.

Hades - Rogues March

Ironically, while heavy metal's current musical state as a whole doesn't inspire many rousing endorsements from me, I absolutely love the unprecedented access to old metal from across the world that the internet provides at the moment.  I am regularly happily surprised by the cool reissues and obscure material--both audio and video--that surface.  It is less often that I am truly awestruck something actually exists.

This is one of those times.

Whereabouts of: The Ultimate Revenge interviewers & Major Mayhem

Look, let's not pretend otherwise--The Ultimate Revenge "Whereabouts of:" posts I'm aching to do are for the most colorful characters from the crowd scene.  If some breakthrough happens, great, but I'm also realistic--how do you verify any information on homeless black dude, tit-flashing two-tone hair glam slut, or "UPSTATE MUTHAFUCKAH!" guy easily?  Their few seconds of VHS fame continue to amuse and entertain, but perhaps they're forever doomed to anonymous obscurity.

Luckily, we can look up some of the credited individuals:

Jim Kozlowski 

"Can we say FUCK?"  "Yes.  It's for the home."

This was the gay-sounding Venom interviewer.  He reminds me of a less creepy American version of Jimmy Savile (I may have to eventually do a post about the Iron Maiden episode of Jim'll Fix It), but I must stress that's only due to the voice and haircut, not any perception of kiddy-diddling.

But exactly who was he?  Here's a short Important Records bio:

Here's the full Important "Who's Who" section, with early info on Combat (and Relativity):

Taken from the March 1984 New on the Charts

(note that Barry Kobrin and Howie Gabriel both have Ultimate Revenge production credits)

Jim was a former DJ and music journalist, but it's unclear how much non-business interest, if any, he had in heavy metal, or how much influence he had in role of A&R consultant, particularly since Combat's roster shifted to drastically heavier material by '85.  I found a few articles and liner notes he had authored, but nothing heavy metal-related other than the bio above and the Venom interview.  Information online is mostly limited to how he inspired the use of The Silver Surfer on the cover of Joe Satriani's Surfing with the Alien album.  I could find no concrete info about him since the '80s.

Update: Hate to be the harbinger of bad news, but a Relativity Records employee has confirmed Jim passed away in 2021.

Gene Sobczak

Can't tell if he is trying not to crack up at Slayer's drunk antics or hiding mild discomfort.

Yep, the Slayer interviewer with the leathervest.  I remember looking him up randomly years ago, and the infamous Slayer interview was actually mentioned among his journalistic exploits on some sort of now-defunct bio or resume page.  Although originally from New Jersey, he moved to Colorado--sadly, I doubt it had anything to do with being closer to Jag Panzer.

Update: I've edited the post a bit--previously, the only metal-related info I had on him was a Facebook post he wrote about Fast Eddie Clarke's passing and how he liked Motörhead in his youth. Social media reveals that he still goes to Anvil concerts and has been known to occasionally sport a Slayer eagle logo tee, so he's a good egg in my book. Thanks for defending the faith!

Paul Aaronson (the voice of "Major Mayhem")

This one was personally disappointing to me.  I've watched The Ultimate Revenge so much that I have the Combat promo spiel memorized; I do the voice and go for the right phrasing and cadence and everything.  Sometimes in public.  It's just a fantastic over the top showcase for some mighty fine albums.  

  

As it turns out, Paul Aaronson was just the sales manager at Important/Relativity.  Deep down, that's even what I expected; it's the most logical cost cutting measure--who better budgetwise to do it than an employee?--but it's still anticlimactic to find out it wasn't a metal superfan or a kooky DJ/voice-over guy or some Zazula-type character. 

Apparently he now owns Solid Sender Records, which seems to be a brick-and-mortar place ( doesn't seem to specialize in metal, unfortunately), although all the info I could find online was about him as a dealer at NY area record fairs.  I fantasized for a couple seconds about going to one, finding him, and shouting quotes at him in the voice ("OH MY GOD, SO HIDEOUS, EVEN I DON'T GET TOO NEAR THEM!") until realizing I'd probably be forcibly ejected from the hotel conference room or VFW Hall or wherever.  The walk of shame past gawking vendors and their milk crates full of overpriced LPs doesn't bother me so much--I'd throw out one last "RIDE WITH THESE GUYS, AND THE DEVIL IS YOUR CO-PILOT!" for good measure--as losing an admission fee better spent on bargain bin death metal.  Oh yeah, Paul apparently met Quorthon during his promotional visit to NYC for the first Bathory album.  Quite enviable.

If anyone has any additional metal-related info about the guys above or knows the identity of the fellow pictured below, drop me a line!